The Simson School

Hello, my name is 김민욱 in 바다감마 class. Today I’m going to talk about how do you feel on a few hours of sleep? In thanksgiving I sleep 5 hours that is short when I wake I feel strange. To begin with, I feel tired I want to sleep more but I couldn’t because we have a ancestral rites. Secondly, they can more stress my mother is wake faster than me so I ask her how do you feel when you get short sleep? and my mother said her back bone is stiff and she want to take more sleep. Finally, when we are not short sleepers then we have to more than 6hours when you aren’t do this then you will be error to your body. In conclusion, I think we have to take long sleep for your body I learn in news class we aren’t short sleepers then we have to sleep long.  

Hello, my name is 김민욱 in 바다감마 class. Today, I’m going to talk about how I feel when I get  few hours of sleep. On thanksgiving, I slept for five hours which is short because when I woke up I felt strange. To begin with, I felt tired and I wanted to sleep more but I couldn’t because we had an ancestral ritual. Secondly, it was more stressful for my mother because she had to wake up faster than me. So, I asked her how she felt when she got a short sleep, and my mother said her back bone was stiff and she wanted to sleep more. Finally, if you get a short sleep, instead of sleeping for more than 6 hours, then you will cause harm to your body. In conclusion, I think we have to have a long sleep in order for our body to be healthy so that we can be awake in news class.

Comments: Hello, I like how you used your mom and thanksgiving weekend as an example for what happens to your body when you don't sleep. I think you should work more on your tenses, so switching present tense to past tense since Thanksgiving already happened. I added ed to a lot of your verbs so you can see how I changed them to past tense. I hope you had fun during Thanksgiving and good luck!

Grade: B-